Soul Food Sunday

Stop letting people tell you who you are.

We all should be able to receive insight that leads to self improvement. Self awareness as this is key in upward mobility. The feedback of outsiders is not a mandatory guiding post. On how you should see you or be you. Alot of us need to peel back the layers and figure out what that is. Going in circles wasting time we can’t in fact reclaim.

Don’t be held down by your mistakes or shame. It’s time to live a shame free life. Most people are too immersed in their own confusing journey to pass judgement on yours alone.Try not to worry and allow thoes thoughts to consume you.

“Don’t fear uniqueness. Fear similarities and acceptance. Create a new trend by defining yourself”.-Debasish Mridha

We have this burden working against our empowerment, authenticity and freedom. One that creates a falsehood that sets people up for failure and not success. Dishing out judgement when support is most needed. This myth that there is one path and a rule book to getting all that you want out of life. The truth of the matter is everyones path is different.

Reject the restrictions you’ve accepted and held on to.

There is this notion of who you’ll become. Based on race, gender, age and parents backgrounds and tax brackets. None of them are true.You decide if any of them will determine where you are going. What barriers you’ll allow to keep you out or down. They do exsist and more for some of us than others.

As a black woman I am expected to work ten times harder then anyone else, and then only break the surface. Anything that I’m passionate about I have to dial back my blackness to not intimidate anyone. When I am honest I am told that I am abrasive.

There was an incident a year ago. I was packing up to go on my two week vacation to get married and go on my honeymoon. When one of my non-black colleagues asked me what happens when black people divorce. I said excuse me, come again. She says if things don’t work out who gets the house, kids and so on. Don’t you all get into physical battles when divorce is on the table. By this time I was speechless. Trying to figure out when I gave her the impression that she could approach me with disrespect and foolery. I’m not much of a fighter in the physical sense. I happen to have a few good punches. I’m saving if someone messes with my family, I get mugged or someone has the guts to touch my hair again. I’m kidding but I’m not.

I ended up telling her that I don’t know who she has in her inner circle or what television shows she been watching. I cannot speak for the black community as a whole. My husband and I are entering in marriage for unrelentless, long haul you enhance me love. I also suggested that she seem to have alot of unlearning to embark upon.

Needless to say but very important — Shape your life as something more than a fight

We get caught up spending to much time living our lives in reference to how others default or define us. Struggling to live up to these standards. Or doing so and being miserable as hell. We are so busy trying to buck up against the systems that we don’t focus on actually living.

Spending time in pivotal moments of our life contrusting heartfelt explanations. Denying our true self the right to breath. Without the suffocating presence of standards. Contrusted by people with head starts and shortcuts. What you say no to is as important if not more than what you say yes to. Do this and be prepared to walk alone. Very few will clap and validate your attempts at finding you and defining yourself for you. But that doesn’t mean it’s any less valid or life changing. You were born an individual with attributes only you can add to the world by being uniquely you. It’s now or never and the ball is in your court.

“If you live for people’s acceptance, you’ll die from their rejection”-Lecrae

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